After all my worrying, stressing, and fretting, our first home visit was a success. Our caseworker Laura is a such a low key person that I don't know why I make myself so nervous. I just wanted everything to be perfect. Laura came to the house for a tour of it. We told her of all of our remodeling that had been completed (and a few things that still need to be completed). We also went over and signed the fee afreement, which isn't too bad considering. She is so flexible with time frames that I know it will all be fine. We also talked about birthparents expectations and really what happens. The more open you are to communication with the birth mother is usually best expecially before hand. Laura told us that only a couple of her families have stayed in contact after the placement. Communication is usually before hand nad just need to be flexible with afterwards. I think Mike and I are really open to whatever will be best for our child. After all it will be their world and we are just living in it. LOL!
I did ask her what would happen if we did by chance find a birth mother on our own. We went thru some situations and have a pretty good idea of what we would need to do. If any of you would be willing to keep your ears open for any possible babies for us to adopt, we would greatly appreciate it. It would cut down on our waiting time and that would be awesome. We are ready to be parents and just can't wait!
Right now, we are to be working on a picture profile showing us, our families, our animals, and our house. This is going to be a tough one for me. I am so not into scrapbooking. I do not have an eye for it so please pray that it will turn in a way that would be attractive to the birthmother we are supposed to have. Laura told us to try and tell a story thru our pictures and make sure to label that this will be grandma and grandpa or cousins or aunts and uncles. We also will be working on our dear birthparent letter. We will be getting examples of these to start on. We need to take time to get to Springfield and get fingerprinted too! That is a better get done soon, but it is going to have to be after May begins due to work schedules.
I never knew how much there was to all of this. My first reaction was, "Why do we have to do all this, anyone can just have a baby." I realized that the whole expericne will make us appreciate each other and our child all the more. We will have a unique story to share with our child and the world of how we became a family and I think that is worth all the homework, writing, and everything.
Friday, April 23, 2010
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
First Foster/Adopt PRIDE Class
I was not excited about going to our Foster/Adopt class. We have been told that it is geared toward foster parents and you are not going to get much out of it, just go thru the motions because you have to take it. Well, last night was our first class and it was not so bad. But I have to keep telling myself it was the first class. When the teachers are talking, they are talking more towards the foster parents, but I think that it will still be useful to us as we go thru our time as parents to a child we adopted. There will be a time when they realize the loss they have suffered by losing their birthparents and it will be important for us to consider those feelings as important and deal with them. I think we will get a lot out of this class.
When they started last night, they passed out the books I thought "This is not going to be so bad, nine classes out of this 2 in book, this is going to be a breeze." Well then they proceeded to tell us that that was book 1 of 3. I was afraid to look at Mike because I thought he was going to give me the "What did you get me into look" but I also wanted to make sure he had run out of the room on me too. But he was still there and even had a smile on his face. We watched a 30 min video. I must say that it provided a lot entertainment. It was an outdated 80's flick with cheesy actors, speckeled stone washed jeans and the newest technology, the Polorid camera. It was a laugh, but the principle behind it was good. We then got the homework for our session. Turns out it is not going to be as bad as we though. For the most part its just circle the answers no writing which Mike will love. We got all of the homework for the next 9 weeks last night so I hope I don't lose it!!!! All in all the teachers were good and kept things going at a nice pace. That will make the classes a little easier to bare.
Mike did get a little worried when they were talking about all the calls we would be getting from DCFS to place a child. I had to remind him that we are not working with DCFS, we are working with Catholic Charities and they knew were were adopt only and would not be calling with Foster children requests. I could see the relief in his eyes. He told me I couldn't foster a child and then have to let them go back. I couldn't even let someone else take my puppies puppies. That is after all why we have 3 dogs. He is right, that is just not what I am cut out for.
Tomorrow is the big day, our first in home meeting with our case worker. She has been in touch with me today, but I still really have no idea what she is coming to "look" for. She did say she would want a tour of the house, but that's all I know. We are scheduled to meet with her for an hour and a half so I assume it's more than a home tour. Keep praying for us. I am starting to get a little stressed over the whole thing and I am ready for us to have our baby and be done. We will keep you updated.
When they started last night, they passed out the books I thought "This is not going to be so bad, nine classes out of this 2 in book, this is going to be a breeze." Well then they proceeded to tell us that that was book 1 of 3. I was afraid to look at Mike because I thought he was going to give me the "What did you get me into look" but I also wanted to make sure he had run out of the room on me too. But he was still there and even had a smile on his face. We watched a 30 min video. I must say that it provided a lot entertainment. It was an outdated 80's flick with cheesy actors, speckeled stone washed jeans and the newest technology, the Polorid camera. It was a laugh, but the principle behind it was good. We then got the homework for our session. Turns out it is not going to be as bad as we though. For the most part its just circle the answers no writing which Mike will love. We got all of the homework for the next 9 weeks last night so I hope I don't lose it!!!! All in all the teachers were good and kept things going at a nice pace. That will make the classes a little easier to bare.
Mike did get a little worried when they were talking about all the calls we would be getting from DCFS to place a child. I had to remind him that we are not working with DCFS, we are working with Catholic Charities and they knew were were adopt only and would not be calling with Foster children requests. I could see the relief in his eyes. He told me I couldn't foster a child and then have to let them go back. I couldn't even let someone else take my puppies puppies. That is after all why we have 3 dogs. He is right, that is just not what I am cut out for.
Tomorrow is the big day, our first in home meeting with our case worker. She has been in touch with me today, but I still really have no idea what she is coming to "look" for. She did say she would want a tour of the house, but that's all I know. We are scheduled to meet with her for an hour and a half so I assume it's more than a home tour. Keep praying for us. I am starting to get a little stressed over the whole thing and I am ready for us to have our baby and be done. We will keep you updated.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
First Home visit Set
So we have confirmed our first home visit by our case worker, Laura next Thrusday at 4:00 pm. So starts the made dash of cleaning inside and out. I am so anxious and stressed that I don't know where to start. Any of you who know me, know that I am a control freak and have to have everything planned. This is truely a test of my ability to be flexible and wait. I have no idea what she is coming to look for. I assume it is to just do a tour of the house and make sure we have room for baby, but I want to know FOR SURE! I want to clean the house and make it spotless, but will that reflect badly on us number one because our house is never like that and number two because they think we are clean freaks and a baby won't fit in well. As you can see, I am a worrier. I inherited that from Grandma Hazelwood. Just wanted to jot down a few thoughts today. Keep your fingers crossed and prayers coming.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Get Caught up with our Progress
I wanted to make sure Mike and I didn't forget any of the steps our journey and to keep everyone informed. I think the best way to do that is blog about it. I haven't done this before so here it goes.
At the beginning of this year, Mike and I decided that we no longer wanted to seek the invasive, emotional and physically draining task of infertility treatment. We started looking into adoption. I would have been ready a few years ago, but Mike took a little longer to be ready. We started by searching on the internet about adoption agencies, private adoption, and international adoption. I never realized how many options are out there for adoption. It was quite a task to try and decide what we wanted to do. I started ordering all kinds of books to read up on the pros and cons of each option. Also I wanted to know about other peoples experiences with adoption. I think I read seven books in a month or so. We finally decided that we wanted to work with an agency. So we set out to find the right agency. We choose the Baby Fold in Bloomington. We had great contact with and information from the worker. They didn't have any classes coming up until April and May. At this point it was February and that seemed like forever away. I was willing to wait because I really liked this agency's reputation and the contact I had from them. Not too far into the process, we got news that due to budget issues, The Baby Fold would not be able to work with anyone outside a 70 miles radius. We were down, but not out. Mike and I just decided that all this meant was that we were not supposed to work with this agency. We had not made the right choice. So we set out again to try and find the right agency. We had talked with Catholic Charities and they seemed nice, but we just weren't sure. We choose to have a phone interview with them. We talked with Laura and she was so knowledge able. She told me that she had been working with adoption for over 18 years and was really honest with us. I talked with Mike and the phone interview and we decided to go with Catholic Charities.
We had our first meeting with Laura in her office. She gave us detailed information about what we were getting ourselves into and where we needed to go from here. She gave us time to think it over. She said we needed to let her know if we really wanted to go with their agency after meeting face to face with her. Mike and I were both in total agreement that Catholic Charities was the was to go. I contacted the Laura the next day to get our application packet. Holy Cow, I have never had to give so much information about myself, my family, my marriage, my thoughts, it has been completly overwhelming. We almost have everything done which is a huge relief. At one point in trying to fill out the paperwork, I thought to myself, "Wouldn't it be easier if they just took my blood, I feel like they need my DNA too". As frustrated as I was with the paperwork, Mike was even more. It has really been a struggle for him. He asked me one night "why do they need to know so much about us". I hadn't really thought about it. I am the kind of person who just does what I am asked and think about why later, but he wants to know why first. When I thought about it, our caseworker really needs to know alot about us. She truely is picking our family for us. She is responsible for seeing if we "fit" with a mother and family. After that, I wanted to give her all the information she needed.
We also have met with a licensing worker. In the state of Illinois you have to be a licensed foster parent to adopt. This means we have to go thru all the same requirements and everything. Which means MORE paperwork. Can you believe it? It is less than for our case worker, but still how many ways can we say the same thing, right? We just met with her on Friday and I had most of it done by Sunday. So not too bad. We have to get finger printed and get a copy of our marriage license. As soon as that is done, we will send everything back to her for approval for our license. We also have to start taking classes. We start next week for nine weeks. Classes are three hours long. They have told us that the classes wont really apply to us, but we have to do them anyway. Fair right? Oh well hopefully we will get something out of it.
I heard from our caseworker again today and she wants to come for our first home visit next week. Yikes!!!! I wanted to start, but now I think I am not ready. Time to clean, clean, clean. She is really great and I know it won't be a problem, but makes me nervous anyway.
Well that's all we know for know. Will up date more when we have new information.
Thanks for the prayers and well wishes!!!
Mike and Aprille
At the beginning of this year, Mike and I decided that we no longer wanted to seek the invasive, emotional and physically draining task of infertility treatment. We started looking into adoption. I would have been ready a few years ago, but Mike took a little longer to be ready. We started by searching on the internet about adoption agencies, private adoption, and international adoption. I never realized how many options are out there for adoption. It was quite a task to try and decide what we wanted to do. I started ordering all kinds of books to read up on the pros and cons of each option. Also I wanted to know about other peoples experiences with adoption. I think I read seven books in a month or so. We finally decided that we wanted to work with an agency. So we set out to find the right agency. We choose the Baby Fold in Bloomington. We had great contact with and information from the worker. They didn't have any classes coming up until April and May. At this point it was February and that seemed like forever away. I was willing to wait because I really liked this agency's reputation and the contact I had from them. Not too far into the process, we got news that due to budget issues, The Baby Fold would not be able to work with anyone outside a 70 miles radius. We were down, but not out. Mike and I just decided that all this meant was that we were not supposed to work with this agency. We had not made the right choice. So we set out again to try and find the right agency. We had talked with Catholic Charities and they seemed nice, but we just weren't sure. We choose to have a phone interview with them. We talked with Laura and she was so knowledge able. She told me that she had been working with adoption for over 18 years and was really honest with us. I talked with Mike and the phone interview and we decided to go with Catholic Charities.
We had our first meeting with Laura in her office. She gave us detailed information about what we were getting ourselves into and where we needed to go from here. She gave us time to think it over. She said we needed to let her know if we really wanted to go with their agency after meeting face to face with her. Mike and I were both in total agreement that Catholic Charities was the was to go. I contacted the Laura the next day to get our application packet. Holy Cow, I have never had to give so much information about myself, my family, my marriage, my thoughts, it has been completly overwhelming. We almost have everything done which is a huge relief. At one point in trying to fill out the paperwork, I thought to myself, "Wouldn't it be easier if they just took my blood, I feel like they need my DNA too". As frustrated as I was with the paperwork, Mike was even more. It has really been a struggle for him. He asked me one night "why do they need to know so much about us". I hadn't really thought about it. I am the kind of person who just does what I am asked and think about why later, but he wants to know why first. When I thought about it, our caseworker really needs to know alot about us. She truely is picking our family for us. She is responsible for seeing if we "fit" with a mother and family. After that, I wanted to give her all the information she needed.
We also have met with a licensing worker. In the state of Illinois you have to be a licensed foster parent to adopt. This means we have to go thru all the same requirements and everything. Which means MORE paperwork. Can you believe it? It is less than for our case worker, but still how many ways can we say the same thing, right? We just met with her on Friday and I had most of it done by Sunday. So not too bad. We have to get finger printed and get a copy of our marriage license. As soon as that is done, we will send everything back to her for approval for our license. We also have to start taking classes. We start next week for nine weeks. Classes are three hours long. They have told us that the classes wont really apply to us, but we have to do them anyway. Fair right? Oh well hopefully we will get something out of it.
I heard from our caseworker again today and she wants to come for our first home visit next week. Yikes!!!! I wanted to start, but now I think I am not ready. Time to clean, clean, clean. She is really great and I know it won't be a problem, but makes me nervous anyway.
Well that's all we know for know. Will up date more when we have new information.
Thanks for the prayers and well wishes!!!
Mike and Aprille
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